


10 Years Among The Dead

by Neon_Indis



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: F/M, Grey Warden Joining, Grey Wardens, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15693264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neon_Indis/pseuds/Neon_Indis
Summary: “I’m going to be answering that question for the rest of my life. Yes, I was there. It was big. The hero of Ferelden was brave. But that was ten years ago. “What have you done for us lately, Alistair?” New times, new problems.”Those were Senior Warden Alistair words when someone asked him about the Blight. 10 years had passed without us knowing nothing about our Warden and the Hero of Ferelden. But what happened during all this time?It's maybe the good moment to tell the story of Naya Surana and Alistair Therin, two Grey Wardens dedicated to the oath they have taken, but not only.





	1. Here They Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final battle is over. Everything was finally over. Tears of joy and prayers, that was the only think they needed to care about. Freedom for the people after the Wardens achieved their task.
> 
> In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.
> 
> All of this was true. But the sacrifice may not be the same as expected. However, the time for the worries has not come yet. For now, the heroes will just try to be free, at least for one evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andaran atish’an da'len! I'm so happy to finally be able to start this story I have in mind for almost a year. I was so curious about the life my Warden, Naya Surana, and her other half Alistair were living through the 10 years between DA:O and DA:I. So I decided to write their life as I imagined it. I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> This chapter is here to settle a little what I did in DA:O, so it won't be really interresting, at least not really. I'll go through Awekening too, but I promise you that I'm thinking about some good stuff for the next chapters! I want to say that I changed a little what happened after the battle, because I think it will be more interresting this way. Also, I tried to keep some original dialogue from the game, I hope you'll like it!
> 
> P.S: I wish to apologize for any kind of mistake, English isn't my native language! Thanks for your understanding.

* * *

**Chapter I** \- Here They Stand 

* * *

 

The Archdemon was finally dead. Naya finished this beast with a sword, tired and afraid of losing, afraid of being unable to stop the destruction of her world. The young Grey Warden closed her eyes, full of tears, remembering everything that brought her here.

Since Ostagar, Naya and her fellow Alistair tried their best to prove their innocence and to wash the Grey Wardens' name, without forgetting Loghain's betrayal towards the late king Cailan and, by extension, all Ferelden.  
Both of them would say that Duncan saved them when he enrolled them, that his intervention was what gave them the will to get invloved in something greater than themselves. On top of that, the late Warden-Commander was right about the Blight, not making anything easier for anyone, especially not the Grey Wardens. It was coming, darker and faster than the previous one, with everyone trying to convince themselves that this nightmare was just a lie created by a paranoiad man.

They worked hard, obtaining the support of the Iarl Eamon after they saved his city, but also his wife and son from despair. They earned the support of the Dalish after they broke the curse on the werewolves, freeing both factions from destruction after centuries of pain and struggle. The Mages of the Circle also agreed on joining the battle after the Wardens saved them from turning into abominations and put an end to the madness of Uldred. Last but not least, the Drarves of Orzammar joined the cause, thanks to the Ancient Treaties that the new king Bhelen agreed to honor in order to end the Blight that could end everything and everyone, without any distinction.

But even with all those allies, they still needed people to fight on the front line with them. And so, the two remaining Fereldian represents of the order found the best of all people, even if it wasn't that obvious at first.  
Morrigan, the daughter of the famous Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds, was the first to join them after her mother saved them form the giant graveyard that Ostagar had become. Closely after on their way to Lothering, they welcomed a Mabari that Naya saved from death right after her Joining. There, they met a Qunari warrior named Sten that the young woman saved from death sentence, and Leliana, a sister of the Chantry the group chose to take with them after she helped them to deal with some mercenaries. Against Alistair's opinion, they also accepted Zevran, an assassin of the Antivan Crows sent on Loghain’s demand who failed in killing the remaining Wardens. All those people also were joined by Wynne, a Senior Enchanter of the Circle willing to help fighting the Blight regardless her advanced age. From the Dwarf city of Orzammar, they welcomed Oghren, a berserk with a sharp tongue and very good at drinking. The last companion to join this cranky crew was a golem named Shale, an ancient member of the Cadash clan turned into a stone warrior thanks to the Anvil of the Void, an artefact hidden into the Deep Roads that Oghren ex-wife Branka wanted to use again but agreed to destroy for the sake of her people, even if that decision pushed her to end her life.  

All these people were Naya's family now. She went through Hell with them, and she even found love. She never thought she would, not as a Warden, and especially not with another Grey Warden. Alistair was the one who was assigned to her training by Duncan before and during her Joining. Both of them were supposed to light the beacon for Loghain to go and send his troops as reinforcement for the King and his men against the darkspawns. But instead, the Teyrn betrayed his King by pure pride and let him die along the Grey Wardens. Only two of them remained, miraculously saved by the Witch of Wilds. With time, they ended up falling for each other. So hard that they broke their own vows, almost without knowing it. But neither of them could think about letting the other die. Nobody will know after all. That's what she thought, even if letting her friend Morrigan sleeping and making a baby holding the soul and power of the archdemon with her beloved left a bitter taste in her mouth. But it was the only solution. No matter how hypotetical this plan was, the beast had to be killed. And as far as the couple wanted to believe that all this will prevent one of them to die while striking the decisive blow, it wasn't easy to walk towards this battle. Between that and the Conclave, Naya thought that killing the archdemon wasn't perhaps the hardest thing she would have to do. She took Alistair with her, obviously, but also Wynne and Zevran, her best partners in crime. They were prepared for the worse.

She thought was dead. She thought she was tricked, betrayed twice by her friend. When silence took the place of the deafening noise she was usually hearing, her entire mind turned into darkness. But then, she heard voices. She heard their voices. Zevran, Alistair and Wynne were still there. She was hearing them. She heard Alistair desperately calling for her, hearing his footsteps. Zevran was almost yelling at Wynne who was trying to use her healing spells on her friend.

  
"Naya! Maker, are you fine?

_ Alistair...? Am I ... Am I alive?

_ It seems to be the case, yeah.

_…”

  
Naya sighed in relief and fell down on her knees, her hands sliding along her staff. Both Alistair and Zevran ran to sustain her without even thinking. Wynne was right behind them, trying to calm everyone down. She was finally free from those nightmares, from this never ending song which was playing in her head day and night for months, at least for now. All 4 spent some times just looking at the carcass of the fallen dragon god in front of them. They just did it. Teagan ran into them, his guards behind him.

  
"Alistair! Andraste blesses us all, you're alive!

_ We're all alive."

  
He turned his eyes again to the dead beast with a serious face, something pretty rare for him. He felt his injured friend placing her hand on his shoulder.

  
"I told you I'd come back to you.

_ How stupid I was to not believe you.

_ As stupid as ever?

_ Crap, you saw right through me.

_ Do you need a room you two?"

  
Both of them looked at Zevran, a teasing smile drawn on his lips. Suddenly relieved smiles could be seen on each of their faces. After some times, they all stood up, one last look on the archdemon before starting to head back to Denerim. It was time for Ferelden to know that the Grey Wardens accomplished their duty.  
  
During the journey to the castle, Naya, who was usually joking around with Alistiar or talking, was silent. She saved the world and the family she created herself from the chaos. However, she couldn't help but thinking about what all this costed. All because the pride and the fear of one denial man. People trusted her with the future of her homeland, but she didn't know it at all. The only world she knew was made of rules, grief, walls, and sometimes light. She didn't really saw how the world was before all this began. And above all, she who always promised that she will do anything to fulfill her duty, felt like she failed. She couldn't resolve herself to let Alistair die. And she couldn't let him aside and sacrifice herself neither. It would have killed him, and she knew it well too well. She was feeling powerful and powerless at the same time. She was more afraid of the real world than the Blight. All those thoughts could explain her silence. Alistair looked at her for time to time, trying to hide his worries.

Enventually, the battlements of Denerim were finally sight. The tiredness was gone, only mattered seeing everyone again, telling them that everything was now alright. At last, the group and Teagan's men arrived at the gates. No needs to identify themselves, the big doors opened as soon as they reached it. And the people were there to welcome them. They were crying, applauding, praising the Grey Wardens' glory or the Maker's mercy. For a moment, the two remaining Wardens were frozen. They were hunted like darkspawns not that long ago because they were known as the King Cailan's murderers. All Ferelden wanted them dead, at least those who believed in Loghain's lies about the tragedy of Ostagar. But now they were praised like heroes. Somewhat, it seemed way more frightening. Zevran put both of his hands on their backs, gentlely pushing them.

  
"You'll have the time to play at who's the less alive later. Let's go before the crowd continues to grow."

  
Naya nobbed and started to walk alongside her fellow partner and her two other companions. She would have never dreamt of all that. The way to the castle had seemed endless, but they finally managed to get there. Everyone was waiting for them at front of the door. Leliana, Shale, Sten, Oghren, and Falon, Naya's mabari.

  
"You did well kid!

_ Congratulations.

_ I knew it, the Maker was with you!"

  
Those words were just that, words. But while her other companions started climbing the steps, Naya fell again on her knees, slightly sobbing. Of course, her lover panicked a little and ran into her with worry. He tried to talk with her but she couldn't stop. The pressure was finally falling down her shoulders. Sten and Shale were the only stoics here, as usual, but the others didn't hide their surprise to see the woman like this, her who seemed so strong.

  
"Naya, please tell me what's wrong.

_ ...-lived.

_ Uh?

_ I'm just relived. Everyone's here and... It's finally over..."

  
She lifted her face, a sincere smile on her lips as her eyes kept shedding tears down her cheeks. Alistair sighed, glad to see that it wasn't a serious matter. They all laughed before Sten broke the moment.

  
"You're expected.

_ ...Yeah. We have to get ready before the speech. Teagan had certainly told Anora everything already."

  
The hero of the day stood up and took a breat while wiping her tears before entering the palace, following by all her companions that she was proud to call friends. They all were escorted to some rooms in order to get changed, bloody armors not being the best thing to wear when the suzerain is about to make a national hero of you. When alone and better dressed, Naya looked herself in the mirror. She was admiring the beauty of her Grey Warden armor. She never felt so proud to be part of something. She didn't have the time for that though. She was expected after all. She took her weapon with her, as a reminder of who and what she was, before heading to the main hall of Denerim's castle. Every single noble who were there during the conclave were present, waiting to crown their new ruler. Naya was just here to watch, but as soon as she arrived, she heard all the whispers around her. She couldn't ascend the throne, and she was more than fine with that. Also, she was aware that Ferelden wasn't found of mages, so putting one of their kind on the throne? That sounded like an awful joke. Adding that to the fact she was an elf, she couldn't be further from any kind claim to the crown. But hearing some comments about all that after she just stop a Blight was kind of irritating. Suddenly, she felt a hand resting on her shoulder, drawing her from her thoughts.

  
"Everything's alright?

_ Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry Alistair."

  
He smiled, drowning his brown eyes into her bluish gaze for a moment before Anora Mac Tir entered the room, ready to be crowned as Queen of Ferelden. It wasn't Iarl Eamon's initial plan, but Alistair refused to take the throne after his duel with Loghain which ended up by his death. Everybody was counting on Naya to convince him, but the way he looked at her at the moment she had to speak was saying everything to anyone able to see his face. He didn't want to be apart from her. He didn't care relinquishing his claim to the throne. He never asked to be the king's bastard, or to be a ruler. He was a Grey Warden, proud and in love. His lover couldn't do that. She wasn't found of Anora, knowing that she was nothing but her father's daughter. But the new Queen still had a debt to Naya after all the risks she took to rescue her from Rendon Howe. With that, Ferelden may be able to recover from all this. The coronation didn't last long, just the time to make everything official and to thank Naya and Alistair for the service they provided to the kingdom. After that, a party was waiting for everyone. Even if the elven Warden enjoyed this moment with her friends, she took the opportunity to go back to the room she used before the moment she saw that Zevran and Oghren were too busy drinking to notice her escape.  
  
Once she was alone in this quiet room, she enventually was able to breathe. She let go of her staff before sitting on the edge of the bed. She was thinking about her entire journey. She remembered her life at the Circle. She never thought that she could get out, her who was there since she was 5. She could barely remember her parents' faces. She remembered that her mother fled when she heard that the Templars were coming. She was a Dalish mage who went to Denerim because her clan couldn't take another apprentice. She married an elven man who was known for his arcane crafting skill even if he wasn't a mage himself. And from their love the little Naya was born. But, like her mother, she was born a mage. And when the Templars came to their home for his wife, her father had no choice but to let themtake his only child away. She remembered all the tears she dropped that day, but she didn't feel sad anymore. Her father prefered that to a sentence of death for his daughter. For quite some times, the Circle was her home. She eventually realized that it was like a golden prison and that she would never really be free, but she wasn't alone in the wolrd. So she thought, until Duncan arrived and allowed her to join the Wardens after she was caught helping a blood mage to escape the Templars vigilance, despite the fact that Irving was aware of what Jowan and Naya were up to. Since then, she lost many things, many people. But she wasn't alone in all this. Thinking about what she and Alistair lived together made her smile a little, a smile melting sadness and warmness. However, she remembered quite quickly what she had to agree on in order to save her beloved one. If only Wynne knew, her who warned the elf so many times about how dangerous love could be for her duty. She would probably give her a huge dressing-down. At this moment, someone knocked at the open door, breaking the blow of her thoughts. She raised her head to look at the person at the door, though she already knew who was there.

  
"May I?

_ Please."

  
Alistair was also wearing a Grey Warden armor, though his was heavier than Naya's mage robe. He left his sword and shield right next the Arcane Warrior staff.

  
"So we made it. I'm impressed, aren't you?"

  
She simply nobbed. Alistair was quite surprised she didn't answer normally, but when he saw his sister-in-arms lost in her thoughts again, he couldn't help.

  
"I was so scared that I might lose you but... here you are. And here I am. Not bad, right?

_ It was the best thing I could ask for, you know? I... would rather not think about how things would have worked if I had lost you.

_ I guess Morrigan was telling the truth after all. About... the ritual."

  
An akward silence invaded the room. Alistair understood too well that this silence was as deep as it was hurt for Naya to think about her friend and the man she loved together, conceiving a child in order to have one of the most terrific powers of the world in the body of this baby. At first glance, Morrigan could be seen as not very kind, but her honesty was one of her best traits. Except this time maybe. When she told the elven woman that she might at some point deceived her friendship, she never thought it would be by saying that she would make Alistair enjoying this. Maybe it wasn't what she really wanted to say, and knowing the witch it was probably not meant to be hurt initially, but those were her words. Perhaps the attitude was far worse to endure for Naya than the sentence itself. There's no way she couldn't forget that. Alistair didn't want this, but she acted like he would enjoy it more than with the woman he was calling his own for almost two years now. That was too much. She said nothing, but she was hurt, no matter if it was for saving them. The worst was that it wasn't enough to make the Warden mage hating her friend. And it obviously wasn't Alistair's fault since she was the one who convinced him to do it. No. The only guilty here was only on herself. And it was gnawing at her. The half-royal Warden knew he had to say something, before this suffocating silence kills them.

  
"The rest of the Grey Wardens haven't arrived yet from Orlais, but they've already sent... questions. What should I tell them?

_ I don't know, tell them they were wrong. 

_ Yes. All you need is a maleficar willing to have your demon baby. Who knew? No I suppose I'll just keep that to myself, I can shrug and look stupid, it's a talent.

_ Don't say that too loud, some people would be too happy to hear you.

_ Speaking of Morrigan, do you know where she went? I'm told she vanished right after the battle. No good-byes or anything.

_ I don't know. I'm not sure I want to. At least... Not now.

_ I'm just concerned about what the ritual is going to cost, eventually."

  
He sat on the bed, not too far away from her, sighing. When she heard his tone, Naya knew that her lover was really concerned about the situation too, and when she was thinking about it, it was only natural. She stayed a moment just watching him before reaching his hand with her slender one, sliding her fingers between his. He couldn't help but smile.

  
"At any rate, I couldn't wait to be alone with you. These formal affairs drive me insane.

_ I completely agree. I needed to have this cute face only for myself."

  
This time, the silence that invaded the room was soft and warm. Finally, the mage decided to land her lips on his, kissing him softly. The warrior only had her in his life, she was his first love, his first kiss, his first time. And he intended to make her his last too. It was almost the same for her, though she had feelings for someone else when she was younger. But she couldn't call it love, now that she found out the real meaning of this word and feeling with Alistair. Because of that, and because both of them feared to lose each other against the Blight, the kiss couldn't do anything else but becoming deeper, before becoming rough. It was like they needed to breath the presence of the other, like they would break if this moment ended. But eventually the lack of oxygen forced them to move away a little. The young man gave her another kiss, a very tender one, before resting his forehead on hers. Right prior to what he was about to say to her, Erlina was heard calling her name in the corridor. She was expected. Of course she was.

  
"I should let you get to your adoring public. They want to see the Hero of Ferelden, and who am I to keep them waiting?"

  
Reluctantly, he finally broke away from her. She was now the hero of a whole nation. He did not really care about that, but he regretted not being able to enjoy it any longer after what they had both endured. She sighed, aware that she had to go back. She straightened up and grabbed one last time from Alistair's face to fix his eyes.

  
"You are my hero and my heart. Now, let's being their saviors for a little longer. We will have all the time we want later."

  
With soft smiles on their faces, they headed back to the front of the castle, joining their friends and allies for the celebration. They will handle their new problems and fears after. Neither of them wanted to think about the other Wardens who were coming or about the fact that they will have to say goodbye to their friends. Little by little, everybody fell asleep, some from the alcohol, others from exhaustion. And for the first time in for what it seems to be forever to them, Naya and Alistair were able to fall asleep together, for a night without any of those morbid vivid nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for the chapter! I hope you liked it, and I look forward to hear your opinion, even if it's just a little summary of DA:O. I'll see you for the chapter 2!


	2. A New Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time for all the goodbyes, but the young Naya isn't in peace. Her doubts, her thoughts, and all she lived during this year of struggle have resurfaced.
> 
> But Alistair isn't blind, and he won't let her bear the burden alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So, this time I tried to be a little bit more interresting at the end of the chapter. It can still be kinda boring, with all the description, I give you that. BUT I hope that you're not against some light smut between Naya and Alistair. And I hope that after this chapter, I'll be able to be a little more free from the plot for some time before going through Awakening and Witch Hunt!

* * *

**Chapter II**  - A New Dawn

* * *

  

The calm was ruling around the capital. It was almost hard to believe that the city, and the whole country, were about to be swallowed up by the darkspawns just yesterday. It felt like the world was just waking up from a huge nightmare. And, has the rays of the sun seemed to pierce the curtains of the room, Alistair awoke. It didn’t take him long to notice that Naya was no longer in his arms. He suspected she had to be up for a while now, and decided to take a few minutes to realize. He was alive, and the archdemon was finally dead. It was like all his burden was gone for a moment, but not only. Duncan was finally avenged. This man who protected him until the end could finally rest in peace, knowing that the two Wardens he trusted never gave up. Maybe they will have the time to give the former Warden-Commander a decent burial now. With all these hopes, the warrior finally get out of the room of Arl Eamon's Estate prepared for him after putting on his armor of the Grey, looking for the new Hero of Ferelden.  
  
He found her in the main hall, talking with Zevran and Leliana. The others were in the room too, just enjoying the relative peace of the little castle. Of course, Alistair almost ran into Naya.  
  
  
"Finally up?

_ Hey, it's the first night I spent without worrying about the archdemon Zevran. So excuse me if I enjoyed it a little bit.

_ Oh we heard that you enjoyed it.

_ What are you talking about?

_ You're very cute when you're blushing. It's just that you were snoring pretty loud, you know?"  
  
  
Zevran laughed after Leliana words. These two loved teasing the royal warden, especially if they could embarrass him a little.  
  
  
"Go easy with him you two. Although I can confirm that you were snoring a lot more than usual.

_ Great. That's marvelous. Thank you for your support my dear."  
  
  
Naya laughed too, drawing a smile on Alistair's face. The conversation lasted a moment after that, until Wynne approached the small group. It was time for her and Shale to go. The time for the goodbye. The two thieves were the first to wish them good luck. Alistair did too, after the Senior Enchanter made a last observation of the couple, making the warden blush. The last but not least was Naya. She couldn't help but smile, without saying a single thing at first.  
  
  
"It was an honor to fight this creature with you Warden.

_ I couldn't dream of a better mage mentor to fight by my side Wynne. Thank you, for everything.

_ I should be the one who thanks you, after all you did for me. You're a great person, and I believe you'll continue to accomplish great things. And for that, you will always have my support. Good luck Naya."  
  
  
Without thinking, the elven woman embraced her fellow mage in silence, as a last t _hank you_ _and farewell_. After that, Shale just asked her to not die before she comes back. They soon left the estate, leaving the others to their business. But it was the time for almost everyone. Sten didn't bother to say goodbye to everyone, only to his kadan, before disappearing. Oghren decided to go back to The Spoiled Princess with Felsi, and surely to accept the offer to join of the Guard of Denerim. A new life for him, thanks to his pointy-eared friend. He even swore to name his unborn baby like her, no matter what gender the child would be. Naya was touched, even if she hoped that Felsi would try to convince him to not give her name to a boy, thiking about a poor little dwarf named after her, an elven girl.   
Soon, the two Wardens, the priest and the assassin were the only remaining ones in the great hall.  
  
  
"So, what do we do now?

_ What do you mean by  _we_?

_ I mean that now that I'm free of the Antivan Crows, I could stay a little more with my lovely friend here. And you can't deny that I can be pretty useful."  
  
  
Alistair couldn't help but let a sigh escaping his mouth. But, even if he wasn't really enjoying seeing Zevran flirting with the new Hero of the nation, he had to admit that the assassin had a point. He was one of those who helped to handle the archdemon after all.   
  
  
"And you Leliana?

_ Oh, I don't know yet. Maybe I'll go and find Marjolaine. And maybe discovering the world.

_ Sounds nice.

_ I suppose you won't follow me in my journey?

_ I'm still a Warden, now more than ever. Besides, do you really think I can let those two fighting darkspawns alone?"  
  
  
Naya thought about that, escaping the Wardens, living a simple life. But she had other plans. She thought about that all night. Alistair was looking at her, quietly. He knew her well enough to know that she would want to keep protecting everyone from darkness. For a second, he felt in love again with her, like it was the first time he was seeing her. She looked more determined than ever.   
  
By the night falling down, the group parted, going back to their room for the last time. however, the elven mage couldn't rest. She went at the balcony of the estate, looking at the sleeping city. It was so calm, so peaceful. But she was still feeling the darkspawns. She knew they were still there somewhere, killing people. She also was aware that the ones in the Deep Roads were already searching for another archdemon to awake. Her face was cold, worried.   
  
  
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?"  
  
  
Alistair came to her side, his eyes lost in the stars. He was surprised to not hear any answer from Naya.  
  
  
"What's wrong?

_ We killed this archdemon. But what if another one comes? What if we are not ready? It's an endless thing, and we're going to die without being able to put an end to this.

_ Naya, you killed the archdemon, you saved us all.

_ But at what costs? I was supposed to die. We took an oath, but I couldn't resolve myself to...

_ To what?

_ I'm not Garahel. He was a hero. Me, I knew you would sacrifice yourself for me, and that, I couldn't bear it. That's why I didn't want you to join the battle at first. And what we did... What I made you do. 

_ Hey, it was my choice. And with the face you were making while asking me this, I knew you didn't like it at all."  
  
  
He put one of his hand on hers, seeing that she was really concerned about what happened. She always seemed so strong in front of everyone. She took all the responsibilities, because he didn't want this burden to be his. But now that all of this was over, she was crumbling, falling into pieces while facing the reality and everything that happened this past year. He placed his free hand on her cheek, making her eyes meeting his. She looked so desperate that his chest hurt.  
  
  
"And I would never forgive myself for that. No matter the reason, I cheated on you. I told you that you're the first woman I've ever spent the night with, and if I have my way you'll be the last. But I failed you and hurt you. I would spend the rest of my life making up to you, if you let me do so.

_ Why are you the one apologizing? You didn't fail me Alistair. You saved me, us. I should be the one apologizing for having you do that."  
  
  
Pure love. That was the right expression to describe the light that could be seen in their eyes at this moment. Alistair decided to reinforce their tender link by joining their lips together. Their kiss was tender at first, but it soon became desperate, as if they were going to break if they were apart. They never really had a time for building an  _us_ together. They had the fate of the world in their hands. And their love to protect. Due to the lack of oxygen, they had to put an end to the kiss.  
  
  
"Do you remember what I told you, before the battle?

_ Of course I remember."  
  
  
Naya offered him a quite sassy smile before sitting on the edge of the balcony. She faced him again, eating him with her pale blue eyes. This time, she was the one putting her slender fingers on his cheek, feeling the few hairs of his young beard tingling her palm. She smiled a little, happy to be able to say it out loud now, without a death sentence on her head.  
  
  
"I love you Alistair.

_ And I love you. Always."  
  
  
They both shared a last smile before he kissed her hand and went to take her lips again, getting closer to her and placing his hands around her waist. She clung to him, not willing to let him flee, even if she was pretty sure he didn't have the intention. Before she knew it, he lifted her and took her inside, not without some almost-quiet laughs between two kisses. The closest bedroom was hers, and so they didn't wait any permission to enter.

He decided to release her just in order to close the door, and praying the Maker that no one dared to knock. She couldn't stop looking at him, even if she only had his back on sight. She couldn't remember when she fell in love with him, but she was sure that it didn't take long. He was the only one to understand her during the first times, but also he was looking at her as Naya, not as an elven mage or the First Enchanter protegee. She assumed that it was the same for him, since he made sure to keep the secret of his birth as long as possible because he didn't want to be seen as anything but Alistair by her. He caught her eyes watching him when he finally turned around, smiling tenderly at her. They both made a step toward each other and, again, their lips met in a lovely kiss. Suddenly, the elven felt all her feeling coming out, feeling some water running over her cheeks while she was asking for more of his warm. He felt the salty water on his lips, and gently went to stroke her face in order to appease her a little. Soon enough, he took her closer to him, hugging her softly as he was giving her another kiss, more passionate this time. She did the first step for more by making her way against him, happy to see that both of them were just enough dressed to not be too cold while walking around the manor. She let her slender fingers get rid of the fabric that was covering his chest before starting to enjoy the feel of his skin. It gave Alistair some chills, mostly because he didn't feel that since a long time. But it didn't stop him from kissing her again, with a little smile on his face.

It didn't take long for the little amount of clothes to fall on the ground while the couple lied on the bed, still unable to let the other go. With all the mess they had to deal with for the last few weeks, they couldn't afford to have a moment like this, just for them. The dirty blonde man dreamed of that for some times, especially because he wanted to make it up to her. He was aware that she would probably not be mad at him for the ritual with Morrigan, but he couldn't forgive himself. He wanted to be hers alone, from the beginning to the end. And, by just seeing her looking at him with her pale eyes so lovingly, he could feel his will becoming stronger each second. He started to caress her curves, making sure to awake her body's memory of his touch. Little by little, one of his hands made its way between her legs, making her moaning a little. She locked her eyes into his as she placed her arms around his neck and forced his lips against her with envy. Both of them waited so long for this, to be able to let all this desire out without thinking about the consequences. After a moment, he finally decided to become one with her, slowly at first before becoming a rougher for an entire night.

For the first time in a while, the couple woke up in each other arms, something they didn't know would happen. Alistair thought he would be King. Not that he didn't trust his lover, but he knew her well. She wouldn't have let him die. And Eamon can be convincing. Naya, on the other hand, thought she would be dead, even before knowing what being a Grey Warden implied when it comes to kill an archdemon. She didn't plan on returning alive. Perhaps she didn't want to. But the man who was embracing her made her doubt. Riordan made her doubt too. She was a natural leader, even back at the Circle. She found her call with the Wardens thanks to Duncan. She heard the Calling once. And on top of that, she had no idea tough a Grey Warden's life could be. Being able to understand all the mystery and secrets could be seen as a gift, but she didn't understand why no one ever tried to at least stop this endless song playing in their head. She thought about Alistair, afraid to have to let him go to the Deep Roads one day to never see him again. The elf was tightening Alistair's hands with hers, which made him moan a little.  
  
  
"What is it?

_ Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up.

_ Something in your mind again?

_ Nothing serious.

_ Meaning that's pretty serious.

_ Meaning it can wait until the sun is up. Don't worry."  
  
  
He sighed a little, lifting his eyes to see that the sun was still invisible outside, resigned to wait for a new dawn to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! Thank you for reading it. ♥


	3. Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferelden is safe, and the two remainings Fereldian Grey Wardens are ready to serve again. 
> 
> However, Weisshaupt is quite curious to hear the story of the Hero who saved the world from the Blight... and survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the wait! Between the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019, I've been quite busy between my year overseas for my studies and the preparation of what's next!
> 
> But don't worry, I won't stop here, I have many new ideas! I was finally able to take some freedom here, even if it's just a little. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: As always, I just want to signal that English isn't my native language, so I'm sorry for any mistake I could have made!

* * *

**Chapter III**  - Judgment

* * *

   
Alistair quickly went back to his dreamless sleep, embracing his lover. But Naya couldn't close her eyes again. In the end, she decided to flee from the sheets and getting dressed. After all, the Orlesian Wardens were coming. She has to be ready for them. However, she didn't have the heart to leave her Warden Prince alone. Also, she didn't have many occasions to see that kind of peacefulness on his face since they met. Eventually, both of them went down the state of Eamon's estate right after the sun showed his first rays. Everybody was gone, minus Zevran and Leliana who decided to stay a little longer with the Warden couple. It was kind of reassuring to see that this chapter of their lives wasn't finishing that abruptly. They were ready to go killing some darkspawns all around Ferelden and enjoying each other company as long as they could. But they didn't have the time to make a single step that royal guards stopped them from coming any closer to the big doors.  
  
  
"Sorry Wardens, but our orders are to keep you in here.

_ Queen Anora is already asking for my head?

_ Her Majesty is asking you to wait here until they arrived.

_ They?"  
  
  
Alistair's voice was still echoing all over the room when three Orlesian Wardens entered the hall of the castle. Their eyes didn't seem to be very warm towards their Ferelden counterparts as they stopped before them.   
  
  
"You have some answers to give us. Both of you.

_ And I thought that the Archdemon was the ruder thing I'll ever met in my life.

_ You're funny Warden Alistair. But you're not our main concern in this really moment. Your elven friend however is very much our concern.

_ I have a name.

_ True Warden Surana. You have a name. Nobody can ignore it those days. But don't worry, both of you will be interrogated regardless."  
  
  
The tone used by the Orlesian man couldn't let place at any doubt. Zevran came nearer Naya, whispering into her ear.  
  
  
"Say the word, and they won't be a concern anymore.

_ Just... stay still. I've seen worse than them. And let's try to avoid murder, shall we?"  
  
  
While two of the newcomers went to prepare the rooms for the interrogation, the biggest of them stayed in order to keep an eye on the little group. The elven assassin repeated that if his friends wanted to use his skills to escape this rather awkward situation, they just had to split the words. Alistair had the same reaction as his partner; the Wardens didn't need more death among their ranks.  
  
  
"What are they bothering you for anyway? You saved the world from an Old God!

_ They want to know why I'm still here to talk about it I guess.

_ You were supposed to die, didn't you?"  
  
  
Leliana's eyes were locked on her friend while she pointed the problem. Naya looked at Alistair for an instant before smiling to the red-headed woman. They knew each other far too well to hide what this kind of smile meant. And Zevran understood that Alistair played a huge part on this miracle.  
  
  
"Well, I suppose that our fleeing witch has something to do with that too.

_ The less you know for now, the better.

_ But you have to find a lie.

_ Ignorance is the best thing I have. And so does Alistair. My first days as a Warden were in Ostagar after all.

_ What do you want us to do?

_ Get out of Denerim. I'm pretty sure our tents are safer than any kind of castle right now."  
  
  
Lying. That was something Naya didn't want to do. The last time she truly lied was to Jowan, and it didn't end well. This day was still really vivid in her mind. But there wasn't much choice left here. She needed to save her lover, and to save herself.   
  
  
A few minutes after, the Senior Wardens came back for Alistair and Naya, taking them to the rooms they prepared. Of course, they thought about separating them from one another, certainly because of the rumor about their relationship spreading all around, which could appear as a problem for the Order.   
  
  
The man in charge of the Hero of Ferelden was a middle-aged man with drawn features and relatively cold eyes. However, unlike his companions, he didn't seem to look down at the woman beside him.   
  
  
"Sit Warden. We could spend quite some times in there."  
  
  
With no other choice, Naya decided to obey her superior. The Orlesian man seemed surprised to see the young lady being that obedient, though she wasn't known as an impertinent woman. The man poured some wine for the two of them before taking place in front of her. He simply placed the goblet on the table before taking a sip. The elven woman, on the other hand, just stayed still, waiting for the questions.  
  
  
"You don't seem that reassured.

_ Would you be if it was you instead of me?

_ Probably not.

_ I don't remember seeing you in the hall earlier.

_ Because I wasn't there. But let's get to the point. First, I want to know what you know about it.

_ About what?

_ The archdemon you killed."  
  
  
Naya sighed a little, her hands folded on her laps.  
  
  
"Do you know its name?

_ Urthemiel. The Dragon of Beauty if I remember well.

_ Well done. I assumed you read about the Old Gods at the Circle.

_ Indeed.

_ And why did you have to stop it?

_ Because it is our duty as Wardens to end the Blight and to protect the surface from the darkspawns.

_ Do you know why?

_ ..."  
  
  
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She realized that she didn't know why the Blights must be stopped. She only knew that the Wardens had to do it.   
  
  
"... I don't know.

_ I will tell you something young woman, nobody knows why. And if someone knew, then this knowledge was lost long before our times.

_ Then why are you asking me this?

_ I wanted to see what kind of Warden you are. I have seen many, but not all of them are truly involved in their duty. And some of them were liars too.

_ Who are you?

_ You're starting to ask too many questions.

_ I have the right to know who is interrogating me.

_ Gordon Blackwall."  
  
  
When she heard that name, Naya took a closer look to the man. She heard this name before from both Duncan and Alistair. She knew who he was. And, judging by the look he was giving her, he was more than aware of who she was. The fact that he knew about the Circle and talked about it that easily already told her that she won't get away with just feigning ignorance. She finally decided to take some sips of the wine.  
  
  
"I see that you heard about me.

_ Just some pieces here and there from Duncan.

_ I knew Duncan for quite a time. He was a good man.

_ He was.

_ That's why it sounded wrong to hear that he died letting two recruits he personally selected and enrolled alone to save the world. In fact, it still does. You can understand why I was chosen for your interrogation. 

_ Why does it mean exactly?"  
  
  
He paused just the time to finish the remaining liquor in his goblet before looking at her with a colder gaze.  
  
  
"One year. You two ended the Blight, the Fifth Blight in just one year. The Fourth Blight was the shortest one and it lasted fourteen years! How by Andraste did you managed to do that?

_ And we took care of a civil war in the mean time. We did what we must. Don't ask me how we did it, we just did. 

_ You keep saying "we" but I know Alistair didn't take any decision. He is a good lad too, but you are a leader. You are the one the people outside call the Hero. The problem is that you shouldn't be here to hear those people calling you like this.

_ Excuse me? 

_ Don't play the fool with me! I can't believe you don't know what ending a Blight should have cost you.

_ Do you really think I ever cared about that? I wanted to save my country, and I was helped to do it, end of the story. I won't let you nor anyone questions my integrity after all this.

_ Your integrity? Fine, let's talk about you and your principles then."  
  
  
The Warden stood up and poured himself another drink he drank right away before coming back to his business. He went beside her, but she refused to look at him. She was standing still on her chair trying to keep her cool, proud and resolved.  
  
  
"Let's talk about your story then. Your parent should be a good start. The ones who sold you out to the Templars and the Circle."  
  
  
Naya's eyes opened wide while she was turning her head in his way. She was angry and horrified to see that Warden Blackwall searched that far in her life.  
  
  
"Don't you dare talking about them.

_ Your mother left both you and your father when she heard the Templars were coming to your alienage. And your father saved his head by sending you to Calenhad. He could take you and flee, hiding your magic with some of his arcane tricks, but he decided to send you to a prison.

_ You have no right to talk about that! You don't know anything!

_ I know that you forgot their faces and that they didn't try to protect you. But you managed to end up quite fine. You were First Enchanter Irving's protegee after all. That's why nobody touched you. You didn't have that many friends there. And the best one you had, you betrayed him to save your head too, just like your father did with you. You didn't care about what could happen. You just wanted to be protected. And for that, you freed a blood mage and made a sister of the Chantry tortured. 

_ Stop it!"  
  
  
_Enough_. That was she thought at this moment while she stood up, sending her chair crashing against the wall. Naya was looking at him with fire in her eyes. She was restraining herself to cast a spell. She wanted him to shut his mouth.   
  
  
"But you let him escape afterwards, didn't you? The guilt I presume.

_ He lost enough already. He was still my friend. And he lost everything mostly because of me. I had no right to punish him, not this time.

_ Sure. But it didn't stop you from selling your "friend" and joining the Wardens to save your integrity afterwards. Irving supported you, but Greagoir would have found a way to make you pay. He couldn't make a Tranquil of you, but he could do worse. You knew it. That's why you followed Duncan. Not because you wanted to protect or fight for Ferelden. You did it because of your selfishness.

_ True, I followed him to be free. But I believed in him. And I challenge you to think that I'm still the same girl. 

_ Did you know that Irving already agreed on letting you go? It was just a matter of time before something happens to you. You were powerful, a rare talent if I believe what Duncan wrote about you. He couldn't bare thinking about you being hurt, used or tortured. You were sold to the Wardens. You never had the choice to join. Only the illusion."  
  
  
That was the kind of truth Naya would have preferred to ignore. She knew that Irving protected her since she was an apprentice, but she didn't know how much. For a second, her eyes were lost on the floor before she met Blackwall's eyes again. However, the old Warden could easily notice that she was starting to lose it. He could only admire how hard she was trying to stay strong, even when she was put in front of the hard truth of her life.  
  
  
"You won't break me. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

_ Really? Let's talk about Ostagar then. Where all your new brothers and sisters died. Where you let the man who saved you from Kinloch Hold and your own King died. I'm sure you never cared about that. After all, all those screams, those corpses, all those people were nothing to you, as the men who died during your Joining. But they died believing in you. And yet you failed them.

_ Stop it.

_ Stopping what? You let your fellow Wardens die while your were sleeping on a watchtower! You let a traitor did whatever he wanted! 

_ We didn't. I didn't...

_ While Loghain was discrediting our Order, while the darkspawns where slaughtering countless people, you and your precious Alistair slept pretty well playing in the woods!

_ Stop it...

_ You can keep telling yourself that you have nothing to be ashamed of, but in the end you just used your status as an excuse to play with politics, to earn power. All those dead souls counted on you and you disappointed them. Lothering is the perfect example of your failure. The darkspawns aren't the only culprits. Your arrogance doomed them all. Even now, you keep using people as your shield. And when they won't be useful anymore, you will just let them fall into darkness.

_ Stop it...!"  
  
  
Naya broke into tears on the cold floor, her trembling hands around her head. Her breath was short. Images of Ostagar and Redcliffe were jostled in her mind alongside all the smells and sounds. She also remembered her nightmares due to the Calling and her fear to lose the only person she had left in this world. Even the mention of her early past hit her hard. She buried all those memories away to keep moving, but right now, she didn't have the strength to deal with everything at once. Blackwall managed to break the young Warden by making her remembering what she jailed deep inside of her mind.  
  
  
"I will let you to your thoughts. I will be back soon enough."  
  
  
Without further ado, the Orlesian man left the room, letting the elven woman sitting down on the floor, still panicking. After some long minutes, she could hear the sound of the wooden door between her tears.  
  
  
"Here, I brought you some ale. I heard you like this better than wine."  
  
  
Eventually, she ended up coming back to her senses, not without a hateful look to the man who was interrogating her. She stood up, not taking the cup he was handing her even if she would have use it right now.  
  
  
"What do you want from me?

_ I told you, I wanted to know what kind of woman you are. I am here to judge you after all.

_ Is Alistair alright?

_ Why do you ask?

_ Because I want to know if I have to kill you right now or not."  
  
  
The last sentence made the Senior Warden laugh between his sips. Naya didn't understand what to think about the man, except that she wanted to punch him badly.   
  
  
"As expected, you really are something Surana. No need to end my life that soon. Your friend is quite alright. It didn't take long to my companion to deal with him. But I still need something from you.

_ For the last time. What do you want?

_ The truth. You see, by the time you entered the room, I already took my decision.

_ I beg your pardon?

_ I had already arrived in Denerim when you came back from the battlefield. I wanted to observe you. Duncan wrote me about you right before Ostagar, saying that you were far better than he thought you would be. I trusted his judgment, but I had to see you myself to confirm that. I will stand for you before the First Warden. But I want to hear your story, the real one."  
  
  
Instead of talking, he came near her and again handed her the golden drink. She hesitated, but eventually accepted the offering. Once her cup emptied, she looked at him again, trying to read through his mind.  
  
  
"I was harsh with you. And I am truly sorry. But I needed to see if what I heard about you was true.

_ Meaning?

_ If you had lie to me, if you didn't care about other people, you wouldn't have broke like you did. You're a righteous woman who assumes her mistakes and acts as a true leader. You're traumatized, that is all. You've been through quite some shits.

_ This is not what you told me earlier.

_ Sometimes you have to cross the line to see someone's true face."  
  
  
A silence invaded the room as Naya's annoyance was readable on her face. She hated the fact that she had been fooled to the point of not being able to control herself anymore. But she had to admit that Blackwall was really good at this. She didn't really have the choice here. She couldn't avoid the truth.   
  
  
"The truth, is it?

_ If you agree on telling me.

_ What if I don't?

_ Then I don't see why I would risk my head by lying to Weisshaupt for a 19 years old stupid girl who can't see an ally when she has one in front of her."  
  
  
Again, she couldn't help but admiring how good the Orlesian warden was. She was just 18 when she left the Circle, and Alistair was just one year older than her. They were children fighting for saving the world. However, she didn't make many mistakes, or at least not many known mistakes. And that, the man seemed to understand it.  
  
  
"You need to know that I did everything I could to keep the people safe.

_ That I already know. 

_ You want to know what kept me alive? Selfishness.

_ I need more details young woman."

  
Naya took a deep breath before continuing her story while Blackwall crossed his arms over his chest and settled in the deep of his chair, making her understand that he was attentive to what she was saying. Soon enough, the elven mage related the entire tale. She explained how she and Alistair learned about the fate of a Warden facing the Archdemon, what plan Riordan proposed them. She also told him how ashamed she felt at this moment, between wanting to live with and for Alistair but also willing to die to accomplish the duty she served with conviction and breaking her beloved one.  
  
It was more complicated to put into words the rest of the story. Probably thanks to her years as a Circle mage, Naya always refused to use any kind of blood magic, way too afraid of the consequences. But when Morrigan offered her an alternative to an inevitable death, she knew what it was all about. Blackwall's eyes opened wide while carefully listening every word she was speaking. Apparently he didn't expect hearing that from her. As she went on with the details about the dark ritual, he seemed more and more disappointed, as well as saddened for both of the young recruits. Her eyes were about to cry again while she was telling him how she made Alistair agreed on getting her witch friend pregnant in order to create a vessel for the abomination's soul. And it was far worse after he heard that he resigned himself to do it, unable to think about losing her to the Blight. Blackwall asked why she didn't put him aside for the battle, convinced that he was desperate enough to sacrifice himself instead of letting her deliver the deathly blow. At this moment, he couldn't deny Naya's devotion to him. She answered that it would have been even more cruel to do that to him. She added that the Wardens didn't need one more dead. Her words matched the conviction in her eyes when she said it was the only way to end this emerging nightmare without killing them both.  
  
The Senior-Warden was speechless. He never thought he would see that much guilt and resolve in her. He understood that she knew what they did was insane, but also that love can blind even the best of all people. He saw principles and righteousness in her. After several minutes, he stood up and started to walk through the door, stopping at Naya's level.  
  
  
"One last question. Do you trust her with this power?

_ I can't tell for sure how she intends to use it. But I am sure she will never use it to harm anyone.

_ Then let's hope that your judgment is the right one. Now you better join your friends. They're waiting for you outside of Denerim.

_ Are you leaving already?

_ We both have other business to attempt. I hope we will see each other again. In better circumstances.

_ So do I."   
  
  
The two of them exchanged a smile before heading to the hallway. While Naya was heading to the stairs, she stopped and slightly turned her head.  
  
  
"Thank you, Warden Blackwall.

_ Don't thank me yet. Take care Warden Surana."  
  
  
On those words, they parted ways without turning back. She only wanted to get out of the city to find her friends, probably worried not seeing her go through the gate of the capital as dusk fell. She only thought about sitting by the fire while her three companions would press her to tell them what happened during her questioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, I was able to take some freedom here, and I kinda wanted to bring the *real* Blackwall here, I don't know why. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you for chapter 4 soon!


End file.
